Down the Rabbit Hole
by MaryBellNorman
Summary: When Alice gets stabbed in the chest, she wakes up in the world of Attack on Titan. What happens when she joins the Survey Corps and eventually ends up falling for the complete asshole of a Captain?
1. Down the Rabbit hole, ended up in Hell

**London, 2014**

"Alice... I don't want you going to the Barn... It's not safe." A french accent shook me from my train of thought. I looked up at Maria, my sister-in-law.  
I smiled softly. "I'm not going to fight, Maria. I'm just going to watch." I lied to her. We've had this conversation every day since I got pretty hurt there. I always lied to her. I always fought when I went to the Barn.

Let me explain. The Barn is an illegal fighting club that I've frequented for the past 8 years. Since I got out of the asylum.

Maria sighed softly, lifting a hand and playing with her dark hair. My sister-in-law was so beautiful. She was from France, so her accent was to die for, anyway, she had large, brown eyes, long black hair, an amazing body, even after having a baby. But she had such an air of innocence around her. I loved her dearly, she was more my sister than just my sister-in-law. "Andrew couldn't handle losing you. He loves you so much. You're the only connection he has to Jackson." she said softly.  
I shifted uncomfortably. "He has Abbey." I mumbled. My actual sister. We weren't very close, to say the least.

"Abigail hates me." Maria said before looking at the large clock on the wall. "Andrew, say good night to Aunt Alice, it's time for bed, love." My 8-year-old nephew ran up to me, crawling into my lap and hugging me tightly. God he looked so much like my brother. I hugged him and kissed his cheek, giggling as he whined about it.  
"Goodnight sweet boy." I said as he kissed my cheek.  
"Good night Aunt Alice!" he smiled, his accent was a mixture of English, from me and my mother, and French, from Maria and her family.

I watched him run up the stairs of the mansion before standing. "I need to get going Maria. I love you." I hugged her tightly and she pushed my crimson hair away from my shoulder.  
"Please be safe." she whispered and I smiled, ruffling her hair.  
"Always am!" I said happily as I walked out the door.

* * *

"Come on, Midge!" I winced as I stood up again, wiping the blood from my mouth before taking another swing at the much larger man, stumbling backwards as he whipped out a knife. Shit.

At the Barn, there were no rules, and even though weapons were highly frowned upon, they weren't forbidden. I avoided the knife as he swiped it at my face. He swiped again and caught the underside of my right jaw, dragging up to the center of my cheek. I yanked away, but he plunged the knife into the left side of my chest. I stopped, looking at him as a few people yanked him off of me, screaming at him. Killing was forbidden. And I'm pretty sure he just killed me. I crumpled to the ground, panting just slightly.

A few people circled around me, trying to decide if they should pull the knife out of not. And then sirens went off. My bottom lip quivered as my vision blurred into one big blob and the circle of people dispersed, more terrified of getting arrested than losing a friend. I closed my eyes, mumbling an "I'm sorry." to Maria, even though she wasn't even there, before I blacked out.

* * *

When I woke up, sunlight was hitting my face and I was being shaking softly. "Hey, you okay?" a female voice asked. What the fuck kind of accent was that?  
I blinked a few times before looking up. An orange-haired girl was staring down at me. My vision was normal, and it took a few minutes to realize my glasses were on my face. I sat up quickly as the night's events flooded my mind. I felt my chest and all I felt was dried blood. I looked down my shirt to see blood around where the knife had been, but no wound. Just a big scar. "You shouldn't move too much, you look hurt." The voice made me turn and I realized I was in a forest.  
"Who are you? Where am I?" I looked around for a minute, utterly confused. But when my eyes went to her, I felt like I was going to throw up.

I recognized her, but where I recognized her from made no sense. She was from a show. An anime. Attack on- Shit. What was happening?  
"This is one fucked up dream." I mumbled to myself. She looked at me for a second before putting a hand on my forehead. Her hand felt so real, though...  
"Captain!" she turned, yelling over her shoulder. This is just a dream. I'm just going to wake up in the hospital and I'll be okay.

I looked up as a man walked towards us. Captain Levi. I rubbed my eyes. This is fucking weird. Petra stood and turned to him. "She has blood all over her, but she appears uninjured." she said and I looked up at them before standing, my legs a little shaky.  
He looked me over and I did the same for him. "What is your name?" he asked and I met his eyes again, I'm pretty sure my green ones were still glazed over.  
"Alice Garder." I said softly before moving my hand and pinching my thigh softly, trying to wake myself up and my blood ran cold.

I didn't wake up. I still stood in front of Levi Ackerman and Petra Ral in my bloodied T-shirt and gym shorts. I wanted to throw up. That meant... Titans. Shit. Fuck. Damn...  
"How did you get here?" he asked and I opened my mouth before quickly closing it again, thinking.  
"I'm not really sure... Uhm... I was just fighting and this club that I go to... I got stabbed in the heart and when I blacked out, I woke up here." I said, shifting from one foot to the other.

Petra looked at Levi. "She doesn't have any wounds." it was a whisper, but I heard her as though she was standing right beside me.  
"Yeah, that's confusing me too." I said as I pulled the collar of my shirt out, looking at my chest again. "I don't know what's going on." I said, trying to take everything in stride. I just wanted to go back home, even if that meant being stabbed in the chest.

"Take her to Erwin. Get her cleaned up first, she looks absolutely disgusting." Levi said before turning and walking out of the forest. Well fuck you too. I walked towards Petra as she held out her hand.  
"I'm Petra." she said kindly and I smiled slightly.  
I know. And I know you end up dead. But I wasn't going to say that. "It's nice to meet you..." I said softly as she walked me inside.

* * *

The shower had kind of woke me up. I understood where I was. I wanted to scream, but I held myself together. I was a fan of the show, and I thought it would be interesting, but now that I was actually here, I wanted to piss my pants. And the fact that I couldn't see Andrew... That hurt more than anything.

I watched Petra as she knocked on Commander Erwin's door. "Come in." his voice made me jump just slightly before Petra opened the door, pulling me in.  
"Sir, I'm not sure if Captain Levi has told you, but this is Alice Garder. She was found in the training forest covered in blood." she was saluting him, but I made no move to.  
"Thank you Miss Ral. If you don't mind," he nodded to the door and she nodded, walking out.

I looked at him and took a deep breath. "Where are you from?"  
"London. I know you have no clue where that is. It's not... Let's see if I can explain this... It's not in this realm. I know that doesn't make sense, but that's the only way I can explain this." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I had pulled it back up into a high pony tail and he watched me. "Where I'm from... All this.." I waved my hand around. "Is a book and TV series. I know about the Titans, and Eren, if you've even met him yet, and I know none of this is probably making sense to you and I'm sorry, I ramble when I'm nervous... But I can't tell you anything other than the truth because if I lie, then we can't help each other."

He was still watching me as I paced, pausing to look at him, eyes wide. We both looked at each other for a moment. "I'm sorry, you have to understand that's hard to believe." he said and I took a deep breath, thinking of something to prove my case. Levi.  
"Ackerman!" I said, looking at Erwin who seemed very surprised at my outburst. "Captain Levi's actual surname is Ackerman." I said softly. "No one around here knows that but you and him." I looked at Erwin who still seemed surprised.

He rubbed his chin, obviously thinking about what to do with me and I stood there, hands in front of me when the door opened. Speak of the Devil and he shall appear! Levi walked in, looking between us two.  
"How much do you know about Eren?" I was surprised at his question.  
I thought for a moment. "All I really know, well, assume, is that him being able to transform into a Titan has something to do with his dad... I also know he's not the only one in the Recon Corps that is a Titan-shifter... but I can't remember their names just now... I lost a good bit of blood." I whispered.

Levi looked me over again, but I said nothing.  
"You will go through training and you will join us here in three months." he said and I stared at him. Excuse me?  
"Excuse the fuck out of me?" They both looked at me. "I never said I was going to help you, I'm just trying not to get killed and joining the Recon Corps is like assuring my death. Nah, I'm goo-" A fist landed on my cheek and I stumbled, but regained my balance. I turned to Levi before throwing my own punch. He caught it, but I figured he would, so I easily landed my foot into his stomach quickly, knocking him back.

I looked to Erwin who seemed impressed. "We need your help, and hopefully you being around the cadets here will jog your memory about everything that you truly know... Please." he said and I looked to Levi who was glaring at me.  
I bit into my lip, looking back to Erwin and nodding. "Fine." I sighed softly. Great. I fell down the rabbit hole and ended up in Hell.

* * *

_**I'm taking a different spin on the Attack on Titan fanfiction world. I hope this one is as successful as my other one, but this one is going to be very different and Alice is going to be very different than Arabella.**_

_**But I hope you all enjoy it!**_


	2. You win this round

I looked at myself in the mirror for a second, running a finger down the scar on my face before taking a deep breath as my door opened. I turned to see Captain Levi. "It's _rude_ to come into a woman's room without _knocking, _Captain." I turned to him.

I'd finished my training easily at the top of my squad which actually surprised me. I was great with hand-to-hand combat, but my skills with team work was awful. Not to mention it took me _forever_ to get my balance correct with the 3DMG. I thought I was still in some kind of fucked up dream until I had gotten back to HQ and was meeting with Erwin. Yesterday. That was the day I realized this was all real. Not a dream.

Levi glared at me and I looked him over. "I'm only saying what's true." I said crossing my arms, my hip swinging to the side. Another reason I shouldn't have graduated number one. I was apparently "Insubordinate."  
He glared at me. "We're moving Eren." he said and I nodded.  
"That took a lot longer than I expected. You beat the shit out of him in the middle of the courtroom, didn't you? And that still didn't convince anyone that you were capable of handling him?" I asked.

Erwin had practically thrown me into Levi's squad, I'm assuming he figured Levi could put me in line. But I've only known one person that could ever keep me in line, and I prayed every day that he had died a slow and painful death. Even as Levi went to sweep me feet out from under me, I snatched his wrist, pulling him down with me before shoving him onto his back and crawling on top of him, digging my knees into his thighs and holding him by his forearms. "That was a really good attempt, Captain." I said and he glared at me. I pissed him off. I know I did. He didn't understand why I was so good with hand-to-hand combat.

I had to be. I grew up in a rough neighborhood and a rougher home. I had to know, since a young age, how to protect myself and how to fight back. And I had listened to the streets and listened closely. I stood, but didn't offer my hand to help him up. But I also didn't turn my back on him.  
"You're a mouthy little bitch." he snarled at me and I shrugged.  
"Thank you, Captain." I said simply as he got up.

I watched him as his eyes thinned. He looked around my room, a disgusted look on his face. I don't know why. It wasn't dirty. Not even cluttered. Hell, I'd only been there a day, two if you include this morning. The only things on the floor were my pajamas and a glass of water I had set by my bed last night.  
"Clean this mess up and then report in the courtyard immediately." he said and I repressed the feeling of wanting to roll my eyes.  
"Yes sir." I mumbled as he walked out. Once he was out the door, I flipped the door off before tossing my dirty clothes in the hamper that was in my room and I poured the water down the drain before walking to the kitchen and setting it down, smiling at one of the dishwashers.

And then I was in the courtyard, the others looked at me curiously, but I said nothing as I glanced to Levi. I knew all there names, but I said nothing. I had told Erwin what I knew, and no one else needed to know I had information about them. Especially since the squad wouldn't live long enough to care. I had told Erwin about their deaths, and he was determined that would never happen... But I knew and it kept me from speaking to them. I had a bad habit of getting attached to people. Maybe that's why it still hurt that my friends had abandoned me when the cops showed up, leaving me to die... That still hurt...

* * *

Once at the small castle, Levi ordered us to clean, and that wasn't surprising. I was cleaning the top floor on my own. Alone with my thoughts. I thought about Andrew, Maria, even Abbey. But mostly Jack... My older brother and my best friend. He had protected me as much as he could, up to the end. I missed him greatly. All I wanted was to see him one last time. I would be okay with one last time...

I sighed as I finished scrubbing the inside of the window, looking out towards the forest before turning and moving to the floors.  
One more time wouldn't be enough. I could see him 1,000 more times and it would never be enough. He had left me alone. He had left me by myself. Abbey didn't care. My parents were jokes... Jack was the only person who cared about me.

I lifted my hand, wiping my eyes carefully. I hadn't even noticed I was crying until a tear landed on the back of my hand.  
"That's probably the first sign of any emotion I've seen out of you besides anger since you got here." I looked up and wiped my eyes again. Asshole.  
I looked back to the floor, continuing to clean until Levi walked over to me, kneeling beside me. "Sir?" I mumbled.

"Erwin tole me that you said my squad is going to die... Is that true?" his voice was hushed and he sounded pained. I leaned back on my heels, looking at him.  
I took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, Sir." I mumbled, looking at my hands. "Erwin said he was going to change his plan of attack, so hopefully the results will be different... But from what I've seen and read, you and Eren are the only ones meant to make it out alive in your squad on the next excursion." I said as I looked at him. He was looking at the floor.  
"How?" he asked and I bit at my lip.  
I didn't want to be the one to tell him this. Shit... "A female Titan... Or, a Titan shifter, rather." I said as I rested my hands on my knees.

Levi stared at me, as though trying to detect any trace of deception on my face. When he saw none, he stood up. "Is that why you were crying?" he questioned and I shook my head.  
"No." I almost laughed. "No, it wasn't. That's why I haven't spoken to anyone but you and Eren, though." I explained.

He looked me over for a moment. "Why were you crying then?" he asked and I went back to washing the floor.  
"Not answering that."  
"I_nsubordinate _mouthy bitch." he corrected his earlier comment.  
"Thank you, Sir." I said simply as I continued washing the floor.

* * *

I picked at my food, sitting away from the others. I felt them looking at me, whispering about me, but I ignored them. I didn't want to get attached. I don't want to get emotions towards any of them. I didn't want them to be my friends, so when I was finished, I walked outside silently, sitting on the ground with my back to a tree, wrapping my arms around my legs, my forehead on my knees. I pulled the picture out of my pocket. It was me and Jackson at his wedding. I smiled softly, rubbing my thumb over his face. "I don't understand, Jackson." I whispered. "I don't understand why I'm here. I'm not anyone special. I can't help these people." I sighed as I stretched my legs out, holding the picture over my heart.

My eyes closed as I clutched the picture. Everyone told me that time heals everything, but time has done nothing but made everything worse. Watching Andrew grow up without his father, knowing that Jack will never get to meet him, knowing I'll never get to hug him again, never get to act like an idiot with him again, never get to see that smile. This was an every day thing for me. Even at work, I thought about him. I still cried every day. I'm surprised I hadn't run out of tears.

"Garder."  
"Captain." My voice shook just slightly. I hadn't even heard him walk up. I looked at him as he looked at my closed hand. I stood up and looked up at him. He was short, but with me standing at only 4"11, he was still taller than me. Most people were.  
"Bed. Now." he pointed and I tucked the picture back into my pocket.

"Not tired." I said, looking at him.  
He glared at me and I sighed. I was tired. I was exhausted. But I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of me bending to his will. Besides, it was fun to get him pissed off. I started inside when my legs were kicked from under me, effectively grounding me. Before I could say anything, my arms were pinned behind my back. I growled, struggling before finally relaxing, turning my head and glancing up at him. He looked pretty fucking proud of himself.

I needed to wipe that look off his face. I moved quickly, digging my feet into the dirt and kicking off, rolling us onto our backs, landing on top of him. The position made him release my hands just enough so I can yank my hands from his grasp and whip around, leaning my weight on him, pushing him down, attempting to pin him like I had earlier.  
Close, but no cigar. He flipped us over, his hands around my wrists, toes digging into my ankles. Not smart. My ankles were small and I could move them easily. I wrapped my legs around his waist, flipping us once more, twisting my hands so I had at least one of his forearms. "Just give up." I panted slightly from my efforts. He was a lot heavier than he looked. "You're not going to get me." I said as I looked down at him.

He smirked up at me and then I felt the blade against my throat. I bit my lip, trying to decide my next move before sighing, letting go of him and leaning back. "Fine." I finally said, standing up. "You win that round." I said as I dusted myself off before walking inside. I heard him following me until I put my hand on my bedroom's doorknob.  
"Why were you crying?" he asked and I looked at him.  
I shook my head. "Good night, Captain." I said, closing the door behind me.


	3. I have a bit of a personal question

I was in the stables, quietly running my hand down one of the horse's noses, mumbling softly to it. "You're a good boy, aren't you?" I whispered as I pulled a sugar cube out of my pocket, holding it out to the horse, smiling as it accepted it easily.  
"You must be really good with animals." I turned and smiled softly. Please go away, Petra. I don't want to get too close to you...  
"What makes you say that?" I asked as I ran my hand over the dark horse's mane.  
She walked over to me and I jumped as the horse started slightly bucking. I shushed it quietly, holding its face softly. "That's Captain Levi's horse. He doesn't react well to anyone but him." she said and I looked at the horse, smiling as it nudged my face softly.

I loved animals, I always had. Back home I was actually a zookeeper, I took care of the exotic animals, exercised them, helped them give birth, brought their meals. Everyone was always amazed by how they treated me as one of their own, but it was jut normal to me. Sometimes I thought I liked animals more than people... Pfft, I know I like animals more than people.

"I love animals." I said as I pressed my forehead on the horse's nose.  
Petra smiled at me as she walked to her own horse, picking up a brush and brushing him. "Why have you avoided conversation with everyone?" she asked curiously and I turned back to her, frowning jut slightly.  
"I... I'm just really bad at meeting new people." I said softly. That wasn't exactly a lie. I was awful meeting people. I had pretty rough social anxiety back home. Here too, but pushing it down and letting anger take hold of me was easier here. Maybe it was because I could die any second here.  
She smiled at me gently. "Well, you don't have to worry about us." she said. "Besides maybe Auruo." she smiled playfully.

I laughed softly. "It really has nothing to do with any of you." I mumbled. It was a lie, of course, but still. "It's me. I come off as really brash and rude, and I don't want anyone to be insulted by me." I said as I turned back to the horse.  
"You seem really gentle." she said, nodding to my affection towards the horse.  
I smiled a little. "Domestic animals generally don't protect themselves from humans unless they're trained to think humans are a threat. And in that sense, they're innocent. Like babies, in a way." I said as I pressed my cheek to it. Petra watched me curiously. "Most people don't treat them like they have emotions... But they do. Like right now." I nodded to the horse I was giving affection. "Happy. Where if I were to whip it, it would get scared and then eventually angry. Like a dog when you hit them, they tuck their tails between their legs." I grinned as the horse nudged me again.

"I feel like I can relate to animals more than people. Their love is unconditional. Human's love isn't. Not even a mother's love is unconditional." I whispered.  
"I don't agree with you there." I turned to Petra. "Mothers love their babies, even when they cry, when they scream and when they have to change them and bathe them. What else would you call unconditional love?" she asked, looking at me.

I needed to get away from her. I felt a bond forming and I wanted out. I hated how easily I considered people my friends. How easily I invested emotion into people. "But babies grow up." I said softly. "And change, and sometimes mothers don't like how they change." I glanced to my chest. Beside the scar from, what I'm assuming was, the knife, was two scars, completely vertical, almost like a large spider bite.  
"You speak from experience." she said gently and I smiled, nodding a little.  
"I do. I didn't have a very good family life." I said as I ran my hand over the horse again.

"What are you two doing?" Captain Levi's voice made me jump, but the way he was looking between me and his horse made me almost laugh. I ran my hand down the horse again.  
"Bye friend." I grinned as I started out of the stables, laughing as the horse whinnied at me. "I was just spending time with the horses, sir. And Petra was brushing her horse."  
Petra set her brush down, following me. "I'm actually done and was planning on going for a little walk, do you want to join me?" she asked as she caught up to me.

No. "Sure." I smiled at her. Levi watched us for a minute as we walked out.

* * *

That girl... He shook his head as he walked over to his horse who nudged his pocket. He gently pushed its head away and pulled out the carrot, holding it out to the horse. That was really strange. Everything about that girl was strange. How she got here, how she knew apparently so much about this world. He didn't know how to feel about it. What bothered him most, though, was how strong she was. She had a small, slim build. She didn't look like the kind who would be able to flip a grown man, but he had little doubt, now, that she was strong enough to ground Erwin.

Not to mention, where she was from didn't even have Titans, so he didn't see any real reason for her need to be so strong. He shook his head a little as he ran a hand over his horse before walking out. He was determined to figure this girl out.

* * *

I looked up at the sky, at the clouds. Petra had just left to go check on Eren and my chest hurt. I hated myself for walking and talking with Petra. Listening to her plans for the future, her, apparently unrequited, love for Captain Levi, and that actually was making me think... I jumped up, brushing myself off before walking inside. I needed to find something out.

I knocked gently on Levi's door. "Captain... Can I come in really quickly?" I asked softly.  
"Yes."

Good. I stepped inside and he was at a desk, flipping through papers. I shifted from one foot to the other. "Sir, I have a bit of a personal question, but I need to ask it, and I need the truth." I said, getting his attention. He turned towards me.  
"What?" he asked and I looked down at him.  
I took a deep breath. "Again, very personal... But I don't ask it without reasons. Petra... Are you two... together, for lack of a better word." I stared at him.

He looked confused for a second before slowly shaking his head. "No... We're not." he said and I nodded.  
"Okay, your emotions towards her?"  
"Strictly professional." Now I was the confused one... I nodded a little, turning to leave when he caught my wrist. "Why do you ask?" he asked and I turned towards him.  
I took a deep breath. "Because it was implied in the-"  
"Really?" he looked almost like he wanted to laugh.

I nodded a little and he shook his head. "Then it was wrong." he said and I nodded a little.  
"That's what I was actually thinking... but it's been right with everything major." I said as I bit into my lip.  
"Don't do that." he said and I rolled my eyes, taking my lip from my teeth and staring at him again.  
He moved his hand from my wrist, I'd completely forgotten it was there until he pulled it away. He was watching my face and I turned to him again. "How old are you?" I asked curiously.  
Levi looked me over before speaking. "34." I nodded.

I ran a hand through my hair, thinking. "Well, that's accurate then. What the fuck..." I pressed my hand to my cheek, thinking. "Is Hange _fucking_ insane?" I asked and he nodded. "Aururo have a bad habit of talking while riding?" he shook his head before pulling out another chair, motioning me to sit. This was strange. I didn't know what was happening. A lot of things lined up, but some small things didn't and I didn't understand as I sat down, Levi turning his chair and sitting in front of me, crossing his legs and leaning back.

* * *

_**Please review! That's how I know to keep writing this story or not! I hope you guys are liking it!  
**_


	4. Can you go the fuck to sleep

I looked at Levi, my leg crossed in the chair as we had our back and forth. I would ask him questions and he would give me a simple yes or no. I was more confused now than when I even came here. I cocked my head to the side, my crimson curls falling over my shoulders. I took a deep breath, resting my cheek on my fist, looking at Levi's foot as I thought of another question. I didn't think I had anymore. I pinched the bridge of my nose, thinking.  
"I don't really know what to think right now." I finally mumbled. A lot lined up with the show and the manga, but the things that didn't, bothered me. I finally took a deep breath before standing, rubbing the back of my head. "Thank you, Captain." I said as I walked to the door. He hadn't said anything to me, but I could tell he was a little irked by some of my questions, and he was growing more confused as I was.

"Garder." he said and I paused, my hand on the doorknob.  
I turned, looking at him for a moment. "Why were you crying?" This again? I turned back towards the door. "Garder." he said again, firmly.  
"You have to understand, sir. It's hard on me being here and not being able to see my family." I said softly before turning back to the door.  
I actually got to open the door this time before he spoke to me. "Alice." I turned to him again. "You know all about our... World, as you've called it, I'd like to know about yours." he said and I sighed a little, closing the door and sitting back down.  
"Ask away." I said simply.

"If you don't have Titans where you're from, why do you know how to fight the way you do?" he asked and I could feel the surprise on my face.  
"Where I'm from, we turn against each other. Murder is very common, and the part of the world I'm from, it's very bad. So I had to be able to protect myself." I said with a small shrug.  
He nodded a little. The concept wasn't unfamiliar to him. "Who taught you to fight like that?"  
I glanced up, thinking of the best way to answer the question. "My brother, mainly." I said, watching him as he looked my face over.  
"You have siblings?"  
I nodded. "An older brother and an older sister, yes." I said, frowning a little.

He nodded to my chest. "Those scars came from what?"  
I glanced down. Just a bit of the scars were showing. "My father." I explained.  
"Why?"  
I shrugged. "I wish I could tell you. He just hated me." I said, frowning a little. "My father wasn't the kindest of men." I said softly.  
He looked me over for a moment. "Why did he do that?"  
I laughed. "He tried to kill me when I was 16."  
"Tried?" I flinched, looking to the side.  
I nipped my lip softly. "My brother intervened and was ultimately killed by our father." I said softly, looking at my lap.

Levi's eyes scanned my body language for a moment before speaking again. "What did you do there?"  
"You mean my job?" I smiled warmly. "I was a zookeeper. See, we have places called Zoos that house exotic animals, bears, tigers, wolves, animals from all over the Earth. And it was my job to keep them happy." I said, shrugging. "And occasionally help an animal give birth." I laughed at the disgusted look on his face. "It's beautiful. Just like human childbirth. It's a beautiful experience." I said with a smile.  
"Do you have children?" Ouch...

I shook my head. "No... I was told I can't have children." I whispered. My ovaries were too scarred from cyst rupturing. It killed me. But I'd mainly moved past it. I planned on adopting when I found a guy that was okay with me not being able to have kids. "I have two nephews and a niece, though." I said with a grin.

* * *

I sighed as I sat on my bed, looking silently out my window up at the moon. I missed my nephew. Hell, I missed my sister. I never missed my sister. But maybe there was something about knowing I could be killed any minute that made me a little more sentimental. I reached into my pocket and my heart stopped. My picture... It was gone... I went to my other pocket, nope. I started hyperventilating. I needed that picture. If I didn't have it I was terrified that I would forget his face. I jumped up, heading outside. It must have fallen out of my pocket. I walked back into my room, grabbing a small candle before heading outside.

I had been looking for an hour, and I was crying. "I can't believe I lost it." I whimpered as I slid down the trunk of a tree, holding my knees and whimpering. I've had that picture for so fucking long... I pressed my forehead against my knees, my eyes closed tightly. I said nothing as I heard footsteps coming towards me. They stopped right in front of me, but I didn't look up.  
"Here." Then I looked up.  
I rubbed my eye softly. "Captain?" I asked as he kneeled down in front of me, holding the picture in front of me. My eyes widened, grabbing in and looking at it. "Where did you-"  
"It slipped out of your pocket when you left my room." he said as I ran my thumb over Jackson's face.

I sniffled slightly, feeling outrageously ridiculous for crying again. "Thank you." I said softly as I looked up at him.  
He nodded to the picture. "Your brother?" I nodded. "And you?" I nodded again. "You look like you've gotten the shit beat out of you." he pointed out and I looked at myself in the picture. I never really had. I never liked looking at old pictures of me. He was right though. My left eye had a bruise under it, my arms were bruised, my left leg had a cut down it.  
I laughed a little. "My dad was a dick." I mumbled as I tucked the picture away, about to stand when Levi stood, offering his hand to me. I looked up at him and smiled softly, taking his hand, allowing him to help me up.

I dusted myself off as he started back inside, pausing when he realized I wasn't following and he turned, looking at me. I picked the small candle up and hurried beside him. "Thank you... Honestly." I said softly. He nodded a little, but said nothing.  
"Now, can you go the fuck to sleep? Watching you scramble around in the grass was only entertaining for about five minutes." I turned towards him, frowning, punching his arm.  
"You're an asshole." I said, shaking my head. "You could have given it to me when you first saw me looking for it." I pointed out.  
"I didn't know what you were looking for." he said and I rolled my eyes.

"I don't think I'm ever going to just thoroughly enjoy your company." I told him, looking up at him as we stopped outside my door. My hands on my hips.  
He looked down at me and shook his head. "And I'll never enjoy yours." he said and I rolled my eyes, opening my door. "Goodnight, Garder."  
"Goodnight Captain." I smiled slightly to him before closing the door, pulling out my picture and running my thumb over Jackson's face with a small smile.


	5. You didn't have to punch me so hard

"We're going outside the walls in a few days... Are you scared?" I looked at Petra as we sat outside. I nodded softly.  
"A little, I'm not going to lie." I said softly.  
Auruo looked over to us. "Don't worry, Alice, you'll be safe, just stick with me." I stared at him for a second before smiling just slightly.  
"Ignore him." Petra leaned over to me and I smiled at her. I was nervous, scared and sick at the thought. I looked over to Petra and smiled at her slightly I'd gotten close to her in the past couple of days. As well as Eren, and I was alright with that relationship. He was supposed to stay alive.

I'd spoken to Levi more, I asked him a few more questions, a bit about his past and how people lived here, and he asked me about my world. About the people, about how people lived, about my family. It was nice, to just sit down and talk to someone, but when we left the room, he turned into an ass again. In the past couple of days, we'd gotten into a few more little fights, and we were about even on who won and who lost. But, he did end up cutting my arm on accident. He'd bandaged it up for me, but didn't apologize. I didn't expect him to. I didn't want him to. I had been antagonizing him, after all.

"Garder." he called and I jumped, looking up at Levi as he called to me. I stood and walked over to him.  
"Sir?" I asked softly, but he started walking, motioning me to follow. I followed him slowly as he led me into the forest. "Sir?" I asked again and he whirled on me, his fist connecting with my cheek. I staggered backwards, holding my cheek. I wasn't expecting that in the slightest. "That." I said, rubbing my jaw. "Was such a cheap shot." I said, smirking at him.  
He shook his head. "You should be prepared for anything." He said, moving his leg slightly before attempting to kick me, but I caught his leg, twisting it and forcing him to turn before kicking his back, knocking him forward.  
"I should be, but I didn't really expect you to punch me, _Captain_." I said as I moved to stand on his back.

Bad move. He quickly stood, knocking off my balance, but I clutched onto his back, my arm around his neck before dropping my feet, pulling him back.  
Also a bad move. Once I had him bending back, he jammed the heel of his palm under my jaw, making me let go. I held him, frowning. That fucking hurt. While I was focusing on my jaw, his foot found a lovely home in my stomach and I went down. I went to stand when his boot connected with my face. This is the worst I'd let him beat me, and I was getting over it real fucking quick. I grabbed his foot as he tried to land a kick to my stomach and pulled it under me as I rolled to my stomach, successfully bringing him to the ground. I crawled over him, sitting on the small of his back with my foot on his head, leaning back, my hands on the back of his knees.

"I don't see why you insist on fighting me." I said as he turned his head to look up at me.  
He glared slightly. "Because I refuse to let you win." he said, moving his hand and using it to push us over so he was on top of me. I winced, moving to get up on my hands and knees, but when I did, he kicked my ribs, flipping me onto my back and crawling over me, pinning me, his knees digging into my thighs. He'd learned that my lower body strength was a lot greater than my upper body strength and at the moment he was using it to his advantage. Every time I went to move my legs, his moved his knees, the point of his knees feeling like they were moving and separating my muscle tissue, and every time I moved my hand, he would tighten his grip.

I stared up at him, trying to think of any way I could get out of this. He noticed the look in my eyes and his hands tightened, discouraging me from doing anything.  
Finally I sighed, turning my head. "Let me up." I said, admitting defeat without actually saying the words. He smirked down at me, moving his knees first, knowing they were what was actually hurting me, before standing, taking my hand and pulling me up.

I dusted off, looking at him, rubbing my jaw where he had initially punched me. "You didn't have to punch so hard, you know that." I said as he dusted himself off. He looked at my cheek, reaching down and grabbing my chin, tilting my face up and to the side, feeling over the bone. "You didn't break my cheek. It'll probably just be bruised." I shrugged as I let him poke at my cheek, wincing as he went over a very tender area. "Stop." I waved his hand away. "I'm fine." I said as I started back towards the courtyard. "Are we done?" He nodded and I returned it slightly.

* * *

"Alice... Your cheek's bruised. Are you okay?" Petra asked. I turned to look at her. Levi and Hange had been doing experiments with Eren, but they hadn't gone well. Of course, and now we were all just sitting around talking, Petra and I a little away from the others, Levi and Hange a little bit behind us.  
"Hm? Oh, yeah. Captain Levi and I just got into a little spat this morning." I shrugged and she looked me over for a moment.

"You two seem awfully close." she said and I looked at her. We beat the shit out of each other... How was that close? "Do you... You know..." She was whispering and I snorted.  
"_Hell_ no!" I laughed. "No, no, no. He's a prick." I said, putting my hand on my hip as I looked at Petra. "Nah, he's all yours, honey." I teased her, grinning as she blushed. I could only pray that they would all survive the excursion in a couple of- I jumped as I heard a slight explosion and I turned. Shit. Eren!

I watched as everyone started threatening Eren, Levi attempting, and failing to calm them down. I took a deep breath as I sat down, watching it all play out until Eren finally ripped his hand from the Titan arm. Levi looked over to me and walked over. "You knew that was going to happen?" I nodded.  
"I didn't remember it until it actually happened." I yawned and he glared at me. "Everything worked out, though. Relax. I knew it was going to be okay or I would have stepped in." I said as I looked up at him.

"Why did it happen?" he asked and I bit into my lip. "Don't do that."  
I stopped biting at my lip before opening my mouth. "When you tried to have him transform earlier... He didn't have a reason to." I shrugged. Levi looked at me like I was crazy. "The only reason you gave him to transform was that you and Hange told him to. He had no reason. When he dropped the spoon, he had something he had to do. Even if it was a small, menial task, he had to do it... Or at least that's how I took it." I said and he looked over to Eren for a moment before walking off, Petra taking his place.

"That was crazy." I said softly. Petra nodded a little, watching Levi. I smiled at her softly, nudging her a little. "When we get back, you should talk to him." I said gently.  
She shook her head. "No, I can't."  
"Yes, you can." I said, grinning at her. I hoped she came back alive. I wanted her to, I wanted everyone too. God I hate myself.


End file.
